


Letting Go

by morganaDW (morgana07)



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, All will make sense, Blindfolds, Bottom Jensen, Dubious Consent Due To Identity Issues, Dubious Ethics, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapped Jensen, Kidnapping, Limp Jensen, M/M, Mild Kink, Mildly Dubious Consent, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Protective Jared, Tags May Change, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Triggers, Trust the Author
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-27
Updated: 2016-02-29
Packaged: 2018-05-23 10:54:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6114309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morgana07/pseuds/morganaDW
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jensen is a rising star at his law firm, a law firm known for representing some of the most dangerous men in the city.<br/>His boyfriend, Jared, keeps warning him to be careful about the type of clients he’s willing to work with before he ends up on the wrong side of a gun.<br/>Jensen should have listened. Now someone has decided that it’s time Jensen learned a lesson.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Warning and a Note: The usual for language, content. I'll also toss a might have triggers warning up (not sure but this is me so I'm putting it out there to be safe). This one is hard to tag without giving away too much if I haven't already. You'll see what I mean in chapter two. This is basically complete so it will update pretty frequently as there are only three chapters. (Yes, I'm evil but you all know that).
> 
> Beta'd By: Lotrspnfangirl and AsteMcCann_JustaShadow
> 
> Summary By: Jenjoremy (I knew I'd left something out of this section).  
> Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
> 
> Another note: This one was supposed to be a totally different type of story but by mid-chapter one, the muse decided to go someplace else with it. Just trust me. It'll all make sense by chapter three.

**Letting Go**

**Chapter One**

An open road of blacktop highway with few or no other cars around, the sound of a perfectly tuned engine roaring beneath him, and not a single worry to think about were things that pleased Jensen Ackles the most.

The times that the 34 year-old attorney could tune out the world, tune out the job that he was slowly coming to despise, and just let the sound of the sleek, powerful, blue and black motorcycle remind him of a past he’d almost forgotten and a future he was struggling to hold onto, were what he cherished these days.

He sometimes wondered what his suit and tie colleagues in the downtown Sacramento law firm would think, what they would say if they knew the wild teenager he’d once been or could see him right that moment as he revved the engine to speed up and leaned into a turn on the winding stretch of road that led out of the city and toward the mountains.

Jensen doubted if they’d recognize him out of a suit. His 6’1” lean body dressed in form fitting black denim jeans, a washed out blue, rock band t-shirt that was about 20 years old, a battered leather jacket, and worn out work boots.

The man he was right then was not the cold, often emotionless lawyer who worked 50 plus hours a week for a law firm that was turning down a wrong path as dangerously fast as Jensen was himself on the road.

The law and its intricacies intrigued Jensen. He often found it funny, his profession of choice, given how often he’d been on the wrong side of that legal table as a kid.

No one, except maybe two or three people in all of California, knew the ruggedly handsome, always well-dressed, green-eyed lawyer had once been on the fast track to a prison cell back home in Texas from the time he stole a car at the age of 12 and barely escaped it when he killed a man at 16.

The last one had been in self-defense but it had been the short time behind bars in a Texas county jail that had helped the angry teenager from a broken home realize just how close he was to ending up like a lot of his friends. Or much worse.

It was with the help of a gruff legal aid lawyer that he was able to bury that side of his personality. Fortunately for him, his short time behind bars was as a juvenile offender so, after years of hard work, he was now one of the top lawyers in the state of California.

Jensen just wasn’t sure that these days he wasn’t straddling a thin line between legal and ethical, a line that was starting to blur a little too much for him. Lately the cases he was being handed made his skin crawl, his nerves grate, and in the case of his most recent ‘client’, his stomach turn.

Stress and long hours at work had been making things more difficult in his personal life as well. That was one of the reasons Jensen suddenly decided to walk out of a meeting with his latest client. He just went home to change, left a note for his boyfriend, and tore out of the garage on his bike.

When the need to punch someone, even an arrogant someone who Jensen knew was as guilty as hell, hit him hard? He knew it was time to get out and just blow off steam in some way that wouldn’t land him in jail.

It had been months since Jensen had taken the time, or allowed himself the time, to do anything except for work in some way. He hadn’t been able to spend the time he wanted with his boyfriend, and that more than anything was bothering him. Sighing, he pushed the sleek bike a little harder than he, if only briefly, thought might be safe.

He and Jared were like total opposites in nearly every way there was. Where Jensen was calm, with a coldness that could and had put people off, his boyfriend of nearly three years was often as hyper as a kid who’d eaten too much sugar. A kid who was also friendly, with a bright dimpled smile, and a laugh that could even make Jensen smile when he was in the worst of moods.

Jensen was clean and had a need for order, while the 28 year-old Jared seemed to just drop things exactly where he was throughout the apartment they often shared. Jensen often enjoyed fine dining at fancy restaurants where as Jared was happy with cold pizza or fast food and beer.

Jensen’s temper was slow to build but Jared had a hot streak that could be ignited fairly easily, depending on the circumstances. When they fought, it was usually loud and ended when someone went too far vocally. Like the fight they’d had last night that had ended with Jared storming out and Jensen wishing he could take back every single damn thing he’d said; everything that had brought that look of hurt into those huge hazel eyes.

He and Jared might not have much in common but Jensen had known early on after a chance encounter that Jared was someone special; someone that Jensen could even see himself spending his life with. Or he had until recently, before both of their jobs began to come between them in a negative way.

Though Jensen supposed as a lawyer currently employed by a law firm that was known recently for taking on the worst clients in the city, deciding to date a guy with a strong sense of right and wrong that didn’t sway was bound to create issues.

Right then, Jensen realized he had other ‘swaying’ issues as he felt the bike’s tires suddenly skidding after he had to shift hard when the road took a sharper turn than he’d been expecting. “Shit!” he cursed both the road and his own self for getting distracted. Then another sound that had him cursing a lot more. “Son of a bitch! Seriously? A goddamn cop just _happens_ on my ass when I nearly wipe out?”

The sharp sound of a siren had Jensen’s nerves stretching even thinner than they already were. He might have left a lot of the angry boy behind in Texas but there were still things he didn’t care for; cop sirens, or what came with them, could be counted on to be among those.

Jensen might have gotten into law by his own fashion, but the arrogance of some police officers and others in law enforcement still brought back his mistrust and dislike.

Slowing down, he saw the lights reflecting in his mirrors and as it came closer, he noticed that the car was an unmarked cruiser which immediately had Jensen’s lips curling into a sneer.

He knew he was out of the jurisdiction of Sacramento PD and that this stretch of highway was under the control of the local Sheriff’s office. Jensen’s dislike of cops was even more intense when it came to small town Sheriff Deputies, given his past, but one that had an unmarked car gave him bad feelings of a different kind.

He pulled over slowly and switched off the bike. He had already removed his helmet by the time the guy in the unmarked car had pulled behind him and had stepped out to make his way over.

“Afternoon, Deputy,” he greeted casually as he slowly moved his hand up to unzip the battered leather jacket so he could remove his license and the registration for the bike. “What can I do for you?”

“You were going well above the stated speed limit and you were swerving back there, so I’m going to need you to walk back to the car with me and take a breathalyzer to test your blood alcohol level.”

Jensen knew he’d been speeding, so he didn’t bother to dispute that. He would, however, dispute the reason for his swerving. “I swerved because I was speeding and took that one hairpin turn too fast. It isn’t marked as it legally should be,” he stated coolly while tipping his head up to look at the cop, frowning as he realized the man was taller than he’d counted on.

At 6’1” it wasn’t frequently that Jensen met someone taller than him. He took Jared’s good natured teasing about the three inches he had on him in stride, but something about the arrogant way this guy was standing warned Jensen that he was used to using his height, as well as what looked like broad shoulders under a tight fitting standard issue Sheriff’s Deputy uniform, to his full advantage.

“I’m not drunk. I haven’t been drinking. You can tell that by how close you’re standing to me,” Jensen replied in a tone that was tight. He struggled to keep his temper in check despite not liking to have his personal space invaded. “I’m not taking a breathalyzer from one of those car machines since we both know most of them aren’t calibrated correctly. Now, since I don’t argue that I was speeding, I’ll gladly take the ticket and be on my way.”

The Deputy walked around the motorcycle slowly as if inspecting it before stopping to kneel down at the rear. “You have a brake light out,” he replied in a tone of voice that was clearly mostly used to speak down to people.

“The hell I do!” Jensen growled. He started to step off the bike when he heard the sound of breaking glass and felt his teeth clench. “You son of a bitch!”

“Now you do and now I’m hauling your ass in for mouthing off, smart guy.” The cop’s voice was deep, with an edge to it that had the hair on the back of Jensen’s neck starting to lift as his sixth sense of danger began to kick back in. “Step away from the bike and move to the car. Now.”

Growing up mostly on the streets had given Jensen a sense of when something didn’t feel or sound right; he’d managed to survive like that. It had been because of those senses that he’d been able to protect himself from the attack that had ended with his attacker dead instead of Jensen either in a morgue or in chains.

He hadn’t had much use for those long buried senses since he left that life behind, but now as the cop straightened to his full height of at least 6’6” and took a step closer, removing the mirrored glasses that had previously covered his sharp ice blue eyes, Jensen felt the danger and knew the last thing he wanted was to get close to that car.

“No, I don’t think I’m doing that.” Jensen took a step to the side, away from the bike and the cop while slowly unzipping his jacket in case he needed the ease of movement. “Show me your badge first.” He noticed suddenly that the guy didn’t have even the standard badge pinned on his shirt and was silently furious with himself. “Then give me the name of your boss. If both check out with a call into the local Sheriff’s office then we can talk about you trying to arrest me on some trumped up charges given that you broke that light.”

The guy eyed Jensen for a long moment, shocked that he was questioning him and then he slowly reached up to push back the hat he had on while meeting wary green eyes. “Well, he didn’t say for a slick suited fancy lawyer that you had this much of a damn mouth on you, Ackles. Guess we might have to do something to fix that.”

Jensen had been starting to reach into his jacket for his phone when he froze at the use of his last name. Jerking his head up and around, he started to demand who this guy was and ask what he wanted when something sprayed in his face, instantly burning and blinding him. “Son of a bitch!”

The unexpected spray of mace took him by surprise. Then it pissed him off. But before Jensen could respond to even _attempt_ to defend himself, much less escape, a strong arm was suddenly wrapped around his throat as he was grabbed from behind. Air was quickly being choked from his lungs, and Jensen’s entire body started to struggle against the lack of oxygen.

“No! What’re you… mmhm!” Jensen tried to fight back but too many years in a suit, behind a desk, had dulled those skills despite working out to keep in shape. He tried to reach back with the hope of finding his attacker’s eyes or some other weak point, only to feel his burning eyes start to blur as the arm around his neck tightened more.

A calloused hand reached around to shove something into the struggling man’s mouth, cutting off his sudden shouts. Jensen felt himself getting lightheaded at the same time as he dimly realized he was being dragged back towards the other car. He put as much strength in his attempts to break free as he could but quickly realized with a surge of sudden fear what was happening.

“Ain’t nobody on this stretch of road to help you, pretty boy. You pissed somebody off that you shouldn’t have. I was paid to bring you someplace nice and quiet for a chat and maybe something else.” The sneer was plain in the now deep, gruff voice, as was the unspoken threat. Jensen, now nearly unconscious, was easily manhandled into the back seat of the car.

Jensen had a brief second as he was tossed into the car to think about making one final escape attempt but before he could draw air into his burning lungs to clear his fading consciousness or find strength in heavy limbs, he felt his arms being yanked painfully behind him where his wrists were quickly but efficiently tied.

“You’re gonna take a little nap so you’re all rested and ready to play, pretty boy,” the fake cop was saying once he finished tying Jensen’s ankles together and then connecting those to the heavy ropes on his wrists to basically hogtie the helpless lawyer.

Having his arms and legs tied had Jensen’s heartrate picking up, memories of another time, another life flashing in front of his still burning and blinded eyes a moment before something heavy was pulled over his face. Then a fist crashed against his temple, sending him into total darkness with a brief thought of his boyfriend before everything went black.

**TBC**


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Most if not all of my warnings come into play in this chapter. Also, blame the muse for being sneaky.

**Letting Go**

**Chapter Two**

“What the hell did you _do_?”

“I did what you said to!”

“I said to pick him up and bring him to me! I didn’t tell you to mace him and knock him unconscious after choking him out!”

“You also didn’t say the jackass would have an attitude or that he would question the plain-clothes cop thing!”

“He’s a lawyer! And he’s been on the other side of the street as well, so of course he’d be suspicious of anything to do with cops. But I didn’t tell you to approach him like that!”

“You wanted the pretty boy lawyer. I got him for you. You would’ve had to keep him cuffed anyway so what’s the big deal?”

“Get out. Get out and make sure to keep your mouth shut about me, him, and what you’ve seen.”

“Whatever, boss. Enjoy your toy.”

It was the ringing in his ears, a sick churning in his stomach, and pain shooting through his head while low pitched, muffled voices that slowly woke Jensen Ackles.

At first the lawyer couldn’t place where he was, what was happening, or why he couldn’t move when he tried to discover what was pressing against his ears. Then, like a light bulb going off, he remembered leaving his office mid-meeting, going home, and tearing off on his motorcycle with the hopes of clearing his head from recent problems in both his personal and business life.

With a sickening start, Jensen recalled seeing the flashing blue lights and hearing the siren from what he’d first thought was an unmarked local Sheriff’s car before he’d realized only too late that he’d let himself walk into a trap set by someone he clearly pissed off. Silently cursing his own stupidity for falling for such an obvious trick, he tensed his body to test if he was still hogtied. He was quick to realize not only had he been tied differently but he was also stripped naked.

Panic began to set in as Jensen recognized that his bare front was pressed against a cold mattress with his arms held above him, wrists cuffed in heavy metal handcuffs while his legs had been spread so his ankles could be cuffed as well.

Opening his eyes, he tried to see where he was and nearly had a full blown panic attack when all Jensen saw was blackness. There was a thick blindfold covering his eyes and a ball gag could be felt stretching his mouth, the straps fastened tight enough to cut when Jensen went to try to force it out.

In an attempt to not panic, unwilling to show whoever had ordered his kidnapping the satisfaction of seeing him scared, Jensen tried to breathe through his nose to slow his heart while raking his brain to figure out who the hell was behind this.

His law firm had recently taken on some… less than stellar clients. The firm had never been very choosy with whom it worked with and Jensen had taken on some clients that he hadn’t necessarily been thrilled with. Lately though he’d noticed the clients that were being taken on including the few he’d been given in the last year, had made his skin crawl. But it wasn’t until this latest client that he’d ever seriously considered telling the firm’s senior partners where to stick their promises of more money and perhaps even a future partnership if he just defended their dirty-as-sin clients.

Jared had been telling him for the past two years that the job, the clients, the less than ethical practices going on behind the scenes at the firm, had started to make him colder, more jaded. He’d warned Jensen multiple times that eventually he’d piss someone off while trying to ‘do his damn job’ and he’d find himself on the wrong end of a gun or something much worse.

Jensen had always shrugged off the younger man’s concerns, chalking it up as just Jared’s natural worry for him. Jared had made it clear he didn’t care for either the cases Jensen had been being given or the way one former client had taken a very close to stalking obsession with him before being arrested for something else.

Now as he began to struggle in the cuffs, hearing the sound of a door opening and closing, Jensen suddenly understood Jared’s concerns might have been valid. He just hoped he survived this nightmare to tell his boyfriend that he was right… as usual.

Jensen knew there was someone else in the room with him even if he couldn’t hear the person move. It was more like he could almost _feel_ eyes on him and it made his skin crawl at the thought of whoever was there eyeing him like a naked piece of meat.

“Hello, Mr. Ackles. I will offer an apology on how you were brought here but not for your current position. I took advantage of you being unconscious to strip and position you how I want you while we… talk.”

The voice that filtered into his ears made it sound like Jensen’s head was underwater. It had a stilted tone to it, along with an accent that Jensen couldn’t place. He knew he’d never heard it, so that ruled out a former client… or at least a former client of _his_ since there had been plenty the firm had tried to give him but he’d turned down.

“As you can probably guess, this will be a one-sided conversation given that I don’t intend to remove the ball gag. It suits me much better stretching that mouth that you like to use just a little too much.” The man paused for a moment before he began again, “You’ll also remain blindfolded so once we’re… done talking, and if I choose to release you, I can without fear that my identity is compromised.”

Jensen tensed, not caring for that comment but trying not to dwell too much on the idea of not being released once this jackass did or said whatever he wanted to him. He did jerk his head when he felt fingers touch his face, and gasped when his thick, wavy, dark blond hair was suddenly grabbed and his head jerked back into place.

“This can go one of two ways for you, Mr. Ackles. The direction will depend entirely on your behavior. So if you want to stand a chance of going home to your boyfriend, if you want to make it out of this meeting with only a few bruises, then I suggest you mind your manners.” The voice dropped to a much harder, colder tone as the fingers tightened to pull Jensen’s head back further, his throat stretched painfully. “You also might want to accept now what I have planned for you and that trying to fight will only prolong it.”

Jensen wished the ball gag wasn’t in his mouth or else he’d demonstrate just how mouthy he could be. He racked his brain for a way to get out of this situation until he recalled the guy mentioning his boyfriend which told him that whoever this was, he knew about Jared, and while Jensen was willing to take any threats his captor wanted to dish out? He was not willing to risk Jared.

He forced himself to stay still at the continued touch of fingers caressing his face before they began to slide back over his shoulder to skim over his back, making it harder to stay still. Jensen was not an open person or one who enjoyed any type of physical contact unless it was from his boyfriend and it had taken Jared months of dating to even earn that privilege.

Clenching his fingers into fists where they were cuffed, Jensen turned his head away the moment his hair was released. His stomach was twisting dangerously but he knew throwing up now was not in the cards. As the bed dipped from the man sitting on the edge, Jensen struggled to focus his thoughts on bright hazel eyes and a dimpled smile.

“Do you know what this is about, Mr. Ackles?” the man asked almost curiously. The sounds of things being moved in a drawer nearby could be heard. “Do you have any idea why I’ve gone to all this trouble to bring you here?”

Jensen would’ve smirked or rolled his eyes if he could’ve done either. He had some pretty good ideas, just reaching mostly, but since he couldn’t speak or shoot this asshole his best ‘drop dead’ look, he gave a short shake of his head.

“There are a couple reasons actually. The first is, as I’m sure you can guess by how you woke up, probably plain,” the man began calmly, going on as if he didn’t noticing the way Jensen’s body tensed at the implied sexual implication. “I’ve been watching you for a long time. You’ve probably even noticed me a few times, if you were to think about it, but never paid a face in the background of your court cases any mind. You certainly never noticed me the few times recently that you’ve allowed yourself to relax and gone to visit that boy when he’s working nights… hmm, you tense more when he’s brought up, it makes all of your muscles… defined.”

Jensen wanted to do more than tense. He wanted to get a hand free and punch this guy in the throat for even _knowing_ about his relationship in the first place, much less knowing about the bar that Jared still worked at some nights when he wasn’t working his main job.

“He’s a good looking boy, in a plain sort of way; maybe a little too bulky in his upper body but… Settle down! You won’t slip those cuffs without doing yourself more harm than I am planning to,” he snapped sharply, one hand grabbing for the wrist closest to him when Jensen began to jerk on it, struggling to get free at the insult to his boyfriend. “You care for him, don’t you?”

Jensen turned his head back to where he thought the voice was coming from, trying to scowl around the gag. He hated the blindfold even more but with the way his eyes were still burning, he doubted he could even glare very well right then.

“When was the last time you had anything in your ass but a toy or your fingers, Jensen? You don’t mind me calling you Jensen, do you?” he asked with a low, throaty chuckle that had Jensen’s anxiety increasing. “Have you ever let go of that tight control you seem to need to have all the time and let that boy toy of yours fuck you into the mattress or over the bar once everyone is gone? I don’t think you have. In fact, I’m betting you’re the kind of top who makes all the rules for both of you. Am I right?”

Deciding not to give a nod or a sound either way, Jensen suddenly jerked when a sharp hand slapped against his ass.

“Let me explain why I chose you, Jensen,” the man began after giving several more hard and stinging swats with his huge hand, and soon Jensen was struggling in the restraints that held him spread on the bed. A strong grip squeezed his neck in warning, reminding Jensen to hold still. “I’ve spent months watching you work. I’ve spent months studying you; your habits, your actions, and in doing so I’ve come to two conclusions.

“The first is that you need someone to remind you that you are not always in control. You need someone with certain _skills_ to take you to places where you don’t allow yourself to go normally. You need a firm hand to show you who is in control. That shall be my task for the time I keep you.” The bed shifted again as the man stood and Jensen had a moment of panic again as a rush of images crossed his mind at everything that was clearly being said.

“The second thing I’ve observed from the time I’ve spent watching you is… you are working for immoral bastards who don’t care about anything but the bottom dollar. You are defending people that should be behind bars and you _know_ this but yet, you still do it. You’re becoming jaded, cold, hard and at times uncaring, Mr. Ackles,” he went on coolly as things landed and bounced gently on the bed beside Jensen.

“You are coming very close to ending up like those you defend. You’ve also made enemies, enemies much worse and who would do much worse things to you or to your boyfriend than even I can imagine. Tell me, Jensen, if your so-called bosses ever told you that one of their clients wanted to fuck you in lieu of payment or they wanted to play with that boy of yours… what would you do?” The tone was almost mocking when it asked this, chuckling as Jensen jerked in the restraints again as his temper began to override his concern for what was happening to him. “What would you do if you knew they’d approached him with offers to speed along your career if he ‘played’ certain games or let them do things to him that they said you agreed to?”

Jensen had been getting angrier with every word this jackass was saying but the certainty in his voice as he said the last things made Jensen go absolutely still as he absorbed what was being said. Then something else began to sink in and suddenly Jensen began to realize how stupid he’d been, as well as how much danger he might have already placed Jared in by refusing to see what had been clearly happening for at least the past year.

“When you see him again, ask him why he’s been pushing you so hard to apply to different law firms. Ask him about those days he avoided you six months ago during that one trial you had with the clearly guilty asshole who’d shot an innocent couple merely for being in the wrong place at the wrong time,” he paused a beat, letting his words sink in fully before leaning over to give another hard pull to his captive’s hair. “I told you that I’ve been watching you, Jensen. I’ve also watched him; a lot more than you’ve been recently it seems.”

Jensen wanted to deny everything he was hearing. He wanted to tell this guy that he didn’t know what the hell he was talking about. But even as he was feeling his blood boil with rage, another voice inside him knew he couldn’t do either. Not just because he was gagged but because he feared the words were true.

Jared had been pushing harder the last year or so for Jensen to take his skills and legal expertise to another firm in the city, or even one outside of Sacramento, if it meant working for a firm that actually gave a damn about their employees as well as the clients they took on. It had been an old argument, so Jensen hadn’t paid it too much more attention the next few times Jared brought it up. He’d explained his reasons for remaining with the firm that had given him his start as a new lawyer straight out of law school after just passing the bar exam. Now though he feared there might have been more to his boyfriend’s unusual pushing than he’d first thought.

He decided that if he made it out of this mess alive, the first thing he was doing after he just held Jared for at least twenty-four hours was make some serious changes and decisions in both his professional and personal life.

Jensen knew he just had to make it out of this mess alive and reasonably in one piece. He’d been testing to see if maybe any of his bonds might be loosening only to realize sadly that the leather straps actually seemed to be getting tighter with his struggles.

The unexpected feel of something cool hitting his still slightly stinging ass had him jerking in surprise and then he heard a low chuckle that had him clenching his fingers in frustration; he could not wait until he got a chance to slug this arrogant bastard.

“Open your fingers,” his kidnapper ordered sternly, giving a sharp rap to Jensen’s knuckles until he slowly willed his fingers to relax. “Just to show that I’m not as bad or as ruthless as I’m sure you’re thinking right now, put this in your hand. Hold it and if what I do becomes too much, too extreme or painful, let it drop. I won’t promise to stop but I will slow down until you can adjust to it,” he went on while pressing something into Jensen’s hand and closing his fingers around the item.

Jensen wasn’t sure if he should be worried that the man expected him to need a ‘safe word’ or relieved that he was given a way to call one; though he was grateful that he was being given that option even if the guy might not stop fully.

He expected to feel a cloth or something along those lines, so when his fingers curled around a thin chain, like from a necklace or something, he was confused. Blinking behind the blindfold, Jensen struggled to understand. His fingers flexed around the object and he felt himself tense as he thought he recognized what was pressing into his palm. He felt the outline of a hard, metal object digging into his skin and felt a hard lump forming in his throat.

His captor kept his hand curled around Jensen’s a moment longer, waiting for Jensen’s recognition, until he slowly let go. Willing his body to relax, Jensen tightened his hand but still jerked at the feel of hands being placed on his shoulders.

“Relax, Jensen. This is about more than rough sex or showing you the dangers you’re inviting. This is also to show you how to relax, how to let go and give control to someone else.” The voice deepened, becoming aroused, and he slowly let his large hands move over Jensen’s shoulders and down his back. “If I wanted to hurt you, if I just wanted this to be a quick and fast fuck, I wouldn’t use a warming lube or take the time to open you. I also wouldn’t be planning to make sure your body enjoys everything I plan to do, even if you might not want that.”

Jensen shook his head firmly. He might not be able to stop what was happening, but he would not let this bastard force him to betray Jared by enjoying it; Jensen understood his body actually had a mind of its own and he feared that it would respond to the feel of strong fingers digging into his ass, squeezing before more of the warming lube was felt being poured into the crease.

It was cool at first but soon Jensen felt it begin to warm. He also felt the first touch of a calloused fingertip beginning to lightly caress the lube into the crease before it swirled around the puckered rim of his hole.

Tensing automatically for the first sear of pain—he still expected the guy to just shove his fingers into him—it took Jensen several moments before realizing there was no pain; there was just the feel of that finger gliding around the rim, as if letting him get used to the touch, before it slipped inside just a fraction of an inch.

Jensen was suddenly glad for the ball gag in his mouth as it gave him something to bite down on rather than make any sounds.

Between his job and Jared’s, it had been at least a month since they’d had any quality time together that didn’t evolve into a fight. That also meant it had been that long since they’d had sex.

Normally Jensen topped; something he preferred due to his past and since Jared had never said anything about it, it had become their ritual. Normally it was Jensen doing the prep work, always careful to open Jared with a slow patience to ensure the younger man wasn’t hurt during their lovemaking. He had never had anything similar performed on him… until now.

“Relax and I promise you can enjoy this,” the voice spoke from beside him as the one finger began to move slowly until Jensen felt his tight inner muscles begin to stretch for him. “You’re scared that if your body responds to me, that it’ll be like you’re betraying your boyfriend, aren’t you?” the man asked, as if he knew by the way Jensen’s jaw was clenching around the gag that was his concern. “This is all on me, gorgeous. I didn’t put a ring or anything on you because I want you to come for me. I will make sure you come for me, Jensen. Stop worrying about betraying him, because you won’t be. This, all of this, is out of your control so just let go.”

Jensen knew it wasn’t as simple as that. He knew, of course, that Jared would never blame or hate him if his body _did_ betray him, but it was more Jensen’s own mental state and that ingrained need to keep control that was now shoving him into panic mode as he soon felt a second finger joining the first.

Instinct had him tensing even though Jensen knew that would end up with him hurt a lot worse than he already was going to end up. All the reasons he topped came back to him as flashes of his life in Texas. Images of that one fateful night, started hitting him. It was only when strong fingers gripped his hair to give his head a painful yank back did he realize he was close to hyperventilating or had been; he couldn’t be sure since he was still blindfolded but fairly certain he shouldn’t be seeing white spots in front of his closed eyes.

“Jensen! Jensen, dammit!” The voice he heard sounded muffled again so Jensen guessed he had been breathing too hard, too loud. He worked to follow the sharp commands but was finding it difficult until he felt lips touch his ear and the sharp, deep voice dropped to a low whisper. “Calm down a second and listen to me!”

He went still, body still tense. Slowly the words being whispered against his ear began to sink in and Jensen managed to will his body to relax. Slowly the fingers released his hair, allowing his head to drop back to the pillow.

“Do you understand me?” the guy asked after a couple seconds, hand now resting on the bare hip closest to him, fingertips rubbing almost soothingly. “Nod if you do.”

It took a second but Jensen did nod cautiously. He _had_ understood what was whispered, but it also managed to confuse him as well.

“Just relax and let me have control, Jensen. Stop fighting it so damn much,” the guy ordered, going back to stretching Jensen.

There was silence as the man added more of the warming lube, twisting his fingers and stretching Jensen with care until he was three fingers deep and Jensen could feel his inner muscles relaxing. “I’ll even give you a chance to kick my ass before I let you go back to your life.” His captor chuckled, pressing further to let his index finger search out and hit the spot he had been avoiding before.

Jensen was deciding between a snort or rolling his eyes behind the damn blindfold when he suddenly felt like his whole body was lit up. He knew he yelped behind the gag, body jerking in the restraints, but it wasn’t to fight.

“Have you ever felt that feeling before, Jensen?” the man’s rough voice asked from behind him now, giving another brush of fingertips over Jensen’s prostate. Jensen felt him move closer, as if he loved Jensen’s reaction. His stomach twisted as his body reacted to the stimulation.

“You know what it was. I’m sure you’ve done that same thing to your boy and then you probably did what I’m doing now,” he chuckled as he slid off the bed and Jensen could hear him shedding the clothing that he hadn’t removed yet. “You probably stood or knelt there watching him move on your fingers… only he could make more noise than you are.”

Jensen gave the best scowl that he could manage right then while vowing to make this guy so very sorry as soon as he had a chance. Right then he understood that he was on the losing side, his body responding to each touch of calloused hands caressing over his body from the way skilled fingers worked him open. He’d felt his cock starting to harden and knew that now it was dripping precome. His captor’s hands were firm as they repositioned his body, pulling him up so he was more on his knees but still restrained.

“Good face, but I bet you can do better,” the guy teased while reaching for something he’d tossed on the bed earlier. “I’m sure that before this is over and I choose to let you go, I’ll make you give me your best pissed off look.”

Not wanting to lose what had been placed in his hand, Jensen gripped the object tight and moved his other hand in its cuff to raise his middle finger up as a way to give his opinion on that idea. A deep laugh, as well as what sounded like foil ripping, was the only response. The last sound gave Jensen some relief as he recognized it since he’d been worried this jackass wouldn’t use a condom.

The bed dipped again as his kidnapper returned to his position behind Jensen, hands gripping the other man’s hips firmly after he’d made a couple adjustments to the straps and thigh cuffs he’d put on to keep Jensen positioned just where he wanted him for what would come next.

“Remember to let go of that control, Jensen,” he said while carefully positioning the head of his cock against the rim of Jensen’s ass, Jensen’s body tightening in response as he fought an inner battle to try to tense as if to keep him out. “If you tense now, you will hurt yourself. _Let go_. I’ve got this.” He waited a beat, then leaned forward so his lips were close to Jensen’s ear. “I’ve got you.”

Jensen couldn’t argue that, given he was tied to the damn bed, but did force his body to relax as the feeling of burning pressure hit him; his inner muscles stretched more around the intrusion, a huge cock both in length and width.

Biting down on the ball gag, he had to wonder if it wouldn’t have been better if the guy just slammed into him rather than go this slow.

Jensen felt fingers on his hip squeeze once in warning, making him realize he must have tried to fight the burning pain, while the other hand touched his neck. He heard the voice speaking, rough from desire yet surprisingly held in check, but Jensen’s mind was lost to the feeling of his body stretching more as that huge cock split him open with a slowness that was maddening.

His body was on a tight edge of sexual frustration that Jensen hadn’t known he was capable of feeling. He hated this feeling but realized this was part of what his captor had been looking for. He wanted Jensen to cave, to submit to both his demands and to those of Jensen’s own body. Jensen feared he was on the verge of doing both.

“You know why I think it’s so hard for you to give up control?” The man asked with a low grunt as he gave a solid roll of his hips, a roll that finally brought him flush with Jensen’s ass. One hand moved around to begin to roll and lightly pinch Jensen’s nipples until he heard a sound that wasn’t pain come from behind the gag. Satisfied, he continued, “I think it’s because you _need_ to be the one always in control so you can make sure to protect not only yourself but those few people you actually give a damn about.

“Your past isn’t as hidden as you think it is. If I can find out about everything you’ve done growing up in that town in Texas, if I learned about what almost happened to you and why you killed that man, do you think those who would seek to hurt you, to control you in other ways, haven’t looked into your background?” It was apparent the point had been made when Jensen’s body went rigid for a second, hot and firm against his captor’s front, before it suddenly seemed like all his strength left, the truth of the words and what they meant sinking in.

Jensen had tensed the moment his past was brought up, but the second the guy said how easy it was to find out things he’d been reassured had been lost or buried, how easy it would be for that to come up as a way to force him to do something he didn’t want to, that was the final straw; Jensen had to admit not only defeat, but also how his ego and stubbornness might have placed everything he’d gained in danger.

Realizing this, it was as if Jensen finally stopped his struggles and just let his body go lax; no longer giving a damn what happened and really just wanting this whole nightmare to be over with. His body was still on edge, his cock hard despite everything he was feeling inside right then, but it was also plain to him that too long without sex would make that a response to the skilled touch of the man behind him.

Knowing he could drop what was in his hand at any time, Jensen held it tighter while giving a sudden thrust of his hips back, trying to urge the man to hurry up.

“I guess it never occurred to you before how much about your life could be learned with the right amount of money.” The man almost sounded sorry for what he’d said when he felt Jensen’s sudden move back. “If you’re finally willing to give up control for this, nod,” he ordered and his breath caught at the quick nod of Jensen’s head. “Damn, you really are hot like this.”

Jensen’s middle finger flipped up again, but this time the laugh he heard was a little more teasing and he couldn’t even find the strength to feel angry. He just wanted to get off and really didn’t care how that happened, so long as it did.

“That’s it, just relax and let this happen… then you can punch me.” The voice in his ear had dropped subtly, lost some of its roughness.

Jensen did plan to throw a punch the moment he could. However, right then he was mainly focused on the feel of the cock that was currently driving in and out of his ass in measured thrusts; each taking it almost up to that one spot inside Jensen but not quite hitting it.

“I know this hasn’t been easy on you. I know this probably scared you more than you will ever admit. I am sorry about that… but I do hope you’ve learned something from this, and that it will give you the motivation to start to change, or else the next guy to grab you might have a more evil motive in mind, or they might go for someone else,” the man said, placing his hand against where Jensen’s heart could be felt beating wildly. He slid it lower to fold his fingers around Jensen’s weeping and engorged cock just as he gave a good thrust, this time hitting that spot. “Hmm, good boy.”

Jensen once again felt like his entire body was lit up but with a lot more intensity than he’d felt before. Once he realized there was no sense in trying to fight, once he made himself think back on what had been whispered earlier he was finally was able to just let go, Jensen could actually appreciate the sounds Jared would make when they had made love before and how his lover would move against him.

He might not be able to move like that, or very much at all, but the guy behind him seemed intent on giving as much pleasure as he was taking. The guilt was there over the fact that he couldn’t resist his body’s needs, but Jensen also accepted that there were things he couldn’t change and would do with the results of this encounter once he was free.

The feeling of fingers giving long, smooth strokes over his needy cock made Jensen restless. He could feel with each thrust that inner spot reacting in time with each stroke, his balls were heavy and he relished the touch when other fingers reached down to give a playful squeeze.

The sound he made from behind the gag was anything but friendly, and while he heard the same low throaty chuckle, Jensen could also tell the guy was holding back. He gave a restless yank on the cuffs that held his wrists in an attempt to demonstrate his impatience.

“Impatience is another flaw you seem to have in certain aspects of your life, but we’ll just overlook that right this moment since I really think you and I want the same thing.” The guy was obviously smirking as he laughed this time but then his touch changed just subtly; he tightened his fingers just slightly, letting one fingernail rake over the nerve on the underside of Jensen’s cock. “You can come when you want to, Jensen,” he urged and then chose to do something that helped send Jensen right over that high cliff into climax.

He’d already leaned forward so his chest was against Jensen’s back, so he licked a stripe up Jensen’s neck to the spot right under Jensen’s ear to before taking the bottom part of his earlobe between his teeth and drawing it into his mouth. He sucked on it while the sounds from behind the gag changed, telling him it was time to end this.

Giving a final hard thrust, Jensen’s prostate was nailed dead on and the first around his cock twisted on a downward stroke, nail grazing the slit. Jensen’s inner muscles suddenly clamped down on his captor’s cock, a second before he jerked, gave a muffled cry, and Jensen’s body gave into the burning need to climax, spilling hot come all over the man’s hand.

Holding his own back for as long as possible, he let Jensen have as much time as he felt the man needed to enjoy this climax. His fingers stroked the now softening cock until Jensen’s body started to lean heavier on the cuffs holding his arms up to the headboard; then he let his own orgasm hit him.

The man managed to work through his climax with controlled thrusts, one arm wrapping around Jensen’s chest as he moved his other hand up to find and release the cuffs. When Jensen’s arms were free, he shifted their bodies just enough to be laid down fully on the bed.

The man’s eyes locked on Jensen’s face as he gave a couple final thrusts before then going totally still, allowing his body to cool as the adrenaline of the last several hours slowly started to slide away. He let his eyes close and felt a hard shudder go through him before he eased out and began to slowly remove the other straps that held Jensen to the bed, along with the blindfold and gag.

He took his time to place all the items back in a box, then went into the connecting bathroom to wet a cloth with hot water before returning to the bedroom to carefully wipe Jensen clean of sweat and come, frowning as he noticed bruises and a thin line of blood from where the strap from the ball gag had cut into an already bruised face.

The purpose behind this idea had been sound. Everything he’d told Jensen had been the truth and he hoped the man would take the warnings to heart once he woke up and he returned to his life. He hoped he made good choices and would not take the path that he’d been almost certainly headed down before.

He watched Jensen sleep to be sure he was just sleeping and not injured, worried still about Jensen’s near brush with a huge panic attack earlier that nearly had him calling this event off. But once he easily maneuvered Jensen to another room, to another bed, he could tell by the deep easy breathing that the already worn out with exhaustion and concerned man had just been knocked out by the force of his climax.

Noticing Jensen’s one hand was still clenched around the object he’d placed there, he uncurled the tightly clenched fingers to see the gold embossed medallion in the shape of the state of Texas. The metal had been clutched so long that the imprint was still in Jensen’s palm, bright red even after he’d started to remove it.

A soft sound of protest was heard, so he left it where it was, brushed a finger down a still too pale face before leaning close enough to let his lips ghost over the corner of Jensen’s mouth in a chaste kiss. After another moment of looking at Jensen’s calm face, he stepped out of the room.

**TBC**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you haven't gotten your own ideas to who is behind this, the reveal is coming next update with the final chapter.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, my patience isn't always the greatest so I decided to upload a day early. :) To avoid spoiling anything in case anyone hasn't figured out who the 'bad guy' in this one is yet, I'll put the note at the end.

**Letting Go**

**Chapter Three**

When consciousness began to return, it took Jensen Ackles several seconds to piece together what the hell had happened, where he was, and what would happen now.

He laid still as he let his mind wake up, taking stock of how sore his body was but also understanding that it could’ve been much worse given what had happened to him. Carefully tensing his arms, Jensen was slightly surprised to find he was free. That all the restraints were gone, along with the blindfold and ball gag.

“Huh,” he muttered, realizing his voice was nearly gone and his tongue felt like dried up sandpaper. He sat up slowly; Jensen’s head still hurt from the earlier blow but he was pleased that the room didn’t spin and his stomach, while reminding him it was empty, didn’t lurch which he took as a good sign.

Blinking his still light sensitive eyes to clear them after being covered for so long, Jensen felt a small tightness begin to form in his throat as he took his first good look at his surroundings.

He knew he’d been moved to a different bedroom because this bed was all heavy polished wood and never would’ve allowed for the restraints that had been used on him. He also knew this mattress was thick, plush, and would adjust to whoever slept in it while that other one had been just a plain mattress. He noticed a glass of water on a matching nightstand beside the bed and took a sip. Jensen supposed he should be grateful the asshole had chosen a different bedroom to use for what had just happened...

Jensen took some time to just sit on the side of the bed, fingers gliding over the soft, deep red comforter. He began to work the rest of the kinks and knots out of his arms and shoulders but he knew most of them had been massaged out already; probably before he’d been dressed in the worn out old sweatpants and t-shirt and left to wake up alone.

He ran his tongue over his teeth before glancing down at the item still in his hand. Jensen touched the gold Texas shaped medallion with his other fingers to feel the familiar ridges in it as the memory of the last time he’d seen it washed over him.

The medallion had been a graduation gift from the man who had helped Jensen get his life turned around. He’d worn it from the day he graduated high school to the night he’d given it to the man he loved. The last time Jensen had seen it had been the last time he and Jared had been together; they’d fought and the younger man had stormed out.

He felt his temper starting to spark as he woke up fully, his memories starting to come back, and he recalled what had been whispered in his ear earlier while his ‘kidnapper’ had been trying to calm him down from what had almost been one hell of a panic attack.

“‘ _I’m so sorry it came down to this, sugar_.’”

“I am going to kick his goddamn ass as soon as I find him,” Jensen growled, fingers closing around the medallion tightly. Standing up slowly, as if not trusting his legs yet, he was pleased that he only felt a little shaky.

The second he’d heard those words spoken in the man’s true voice, Jensen had suspected what was truly happening. He was still confused on exactly why or even how it had been pulled off so perfectly but he planned on learning those answers just as soon as he located…

“ ** _Jared_**!”

The shout sounded loud as it echoed through the cabin that he and Jared had built in the mountains a year earlier as a place to escape the city as well as both of their hectic jobs. It had actually been this place that Jensen had been traveling to when all hell had broken loose.

Silence answered his shout which only angered Jensen more. He knew he’d wake up alone. He knew Jared would want to give him time to process not only what had occurred but what had been said, so Jensen wasn’t surprised that he woke up alone in their bedroom. He was surprised when his shout didn’t get a response because while Jared would be wary of his reaction, he also wasn’t a coward and should be close enough to hear him shout for him.

Ignoring the cold polished wood on his bare feet, Jensen left the bedroom to begin to hunt for his boyfriend only to find the cabin empty of life. There was fresh coffee brewed while a pot of what Jensen knew by smell was pot roast, simmered on the stove.

Glancing around the spotless kitchen told Jensen a few things, but it was the open back door that gave him his final clue to where he needed to go.

Pausing to consider going back for his boots, Jensen shrugged that plan off and stepped out into the brisk and chilly air, silently curse his stupidity for forgetting how much colder the mountains could get. Shivering once, he then headed down a pathway that had been carefully made with smooth paving stones and led from the cabin to a small shed-like building that had originally been an old outhouse before they tore it down and built this structure.

It looked like a large fancy shed from the outside but on the inside it had been made into something more. Even from halfway up the path, Jensen could hear the sounds coming from inside the shed. The classic rock music was muted, as to not disturb the wildlife that lived nearby, but it was the low grunts and soft curses that accompanied what Jensen knew were blows to a heavy bag.

Stepping to the half open door, he looked in to take in a sight that has never failed to impress him from the first time he saw it; the first time he’d met Jared.

Jared Padalecki was 6’4” and as close to the definition of a Greek God that Jensen figured he’d ever come. He was broad shouldered, with long arms and legs that both showed a powerful build and the man’s enjoyment for the outdoors and working out; he still reminded Jensen of a kid with his infectious laugh, dimpled smile and bright hazel eyes that often shined with flecks of golds and blues depending on his moods.

He stepped into the make-shift gym/studio/office and pulled the door shut behind him with a very definite click, and Jensen knew those eyes would be dark because he could tell Jared’s mood then.

“Hey,” Jensen finally spoke, watching the way the taller man’s broad shoulders tensed a moment before he threw one final punch into the obviously well used bag. “So, do you want to talk about this now or should I just kick your ass first?” he asked in a tone that plainly told of his displeasure.

Jared had known when Jensen woke up and thought everything through that he’d be angry with him. He’d known that going in but hadn’t been able to think of any other way to make his boyfriend listen to him without them ending the conversation in a fight.

“I told you earlier that you could,” he murmured, lightly rubbing his burning knuckles as if he suddenly realized how hard and how long he’d been beating on the heavy bag. “I know you’re angry... I expected you to be, but so long as some of what I said sank in with you than I’ll take your hate. I’ll even take a fist to the face so long as you understand that you’d left me no other goddamn choice, Jensen! You weren’t willing to listen to me and all we were doing was fighting about it.”

Jared heard the sound of his own teeth gritting as he took a slow, deep breath to steady his nerves before turning around.

“Also, everything I said inside was true. Nothing was made up or exaggerated or… _ugh_!”

Expecting the blow to come, Jared took it with a soft grunt as his head snapped back from the force of the fist. He tasted blood but before he could do or say anything, he was suddenly shoved backwards against the back wall with Jensen’s hand curled in the front of his t-shirt. His other hand catching a hold of Jared’s almost shoulder length dark hair. Jensen’s pissed off face was less than an inch from his own and Jared knew this could end very badly for them.

“Yeah, I know that. Now before you tell me just how you pulled this off I want you to look me in the goddamn eye and tell me, in exact details, _who_ approached you, if they were from the office or people you knew from there? _When_ they approached you, _how_ many times, and who in the fuck put their goddamn hands on you?”

Jensen was angry about the ambush on the road, but he was angrier about the things he’d heard as well as what hadn’t but had been implied “If someone jumped you, if someone’s approached you in any way to get at me… why didn’t you tell me?” he asked, quick to tighten his fingers in Jared’s hair when he felt him try to look away. “Look at me. Jay!”

The simple nickname was what forced Jared’s eyes to move back to green ones that still showed heat as well as displeasure but none of the hate or coldness he knew his lover could give so easily when angered. “I didn’t tell you because at first I didn’t want to cause you any problems. I knew you wanted to keep the job there, so the first couple times some assholes approached me while I worked the bar, I just ignored their rather lewd and descriptive suggestions of what their bosses thought I could do to ‘help advance your career’,” Jared began after a couple moments of holding firm eyes and knowing he owed Jensen the truth now more than ever. “Recently… the offers have… changed. The goons were very clearly hired thugs and it was when I refused one particular offer that the next week was when I was jumped.”

Jensen’s eyes went to hot slits and he let go of Jared’s hair but caught his jaw, nudging it up so their eyes were still locked. “How bad?” he demanded tightly while inside he was furious at himself for not seeing what had been happening. “Damn it, Jay! You’re a cop! Did you report the assault to Morgan at least since you didn’t tell me why you pulled back that time?”

“Yeah, I told him and he filed a report with what little details I had since the assholes who jumped me were better than the ones who approached me inside the bar. These guys hit me from behind and then put a hood over my head, hit me with a goddamn drug and by the time Chad found me in the alley they were long gone.” Jared’s fingers were clenching restlessly with the need to reach out across the short space to touch Jensen, but he decided it best if he didn’t right then. “The main thing I remember from that attack was hearing the one jackass say if ‘I didn’t play ball with their bosses that it might be you they turned their attention to, and not in a professional way’.

“They’re starting to threaten you, Jen. Morgan had a visit from someone in the Mayor’s office to ‘suggest’ he lose the report on my assault and last week I got a call from a friend in Texas who said some ‘detective’ had been snooping around, asking about you and what happened back then.” He saw the muscle in Jensen’s jaw twitch but stayed still when a hand went to reach up towards his face.

“If they dig that up… If those bastards you work for pull all of that crap, either the truth or the lies, back up, they can make sure you don’t work as a lawyer ever again. They can make sure you don’t have a damn choice but to do what they want, whatever they want and… I got scared for you.” Jared hated to admit that since he was a cop in the local State Police office and he knew he should’ve been able to handle threats or whatever else easily. But it wasn’t so simple when too many higher ups were taking pay-offs and it involved someone that you cared about. “The cases you’re being given, the jobs they want you to take, the sleazy criminals they’re making you defend, the way that one new guy looks at you… God, Jen, I could go on! I just wanted to try to get you to listen to me without instantly going on the defensive like you have been.

“I love you, Jensen. I don’t want to see you hurt. I don’t want to see you turned into someone you aren’t. I don’t want to see you disappear one day like others in that office have since these guys took it over.” He paused to allow Jensen’s fingers to wipe away the line of blood his punch had drawn. “I don’t want to see them do anything to you, or threaten me to force you to give into them and become…”

“I am no one’s bitch, Jared,” Jensen broke in firmly, catching and holding worried eyes. He slowly drew in a deep breath before letting it out, feeling some of the tension he’d felt with his temper fading away.

He understood Jared’s concerns; especially given what everything he now feared his boyfriend had been deflecting for far longer than he ever should have had to. He also thought he understood a little better why Jared had been willing to push the proverbial envelope with his act as he tried to make Jensen see and hear things that he knew he probably had sensed all along but just hadn’t been willing to see fully… until now.

“I’m sorry that I…” Jared started to apologize only to be stopped by Jensen’s lips covering his in a kiss that while firm and had heat from the leftover frustrations of earlier, was also tender.

“I love you,” Jensen murmured as he continued to kiss Jared until he felt him finally reach for him.

Pulling Jared into his arms, he let go of any remaining anger he might have felt for what Jared had done to prove his point. Jensen wasn’t a stupid man and he knew Jared wasn’t rash. For him to have set in motion the elaborate plan that he had, his boyfriend had to have been desperate. Given Jensen’s background he could understand desperation all too well.

“Who’d you pay to be that fake cop?” he asked after a long moment of silence in the small building, willing to just hold Jared because in some way Jensen knew the man who had been with him earlier had not been Jared; the drawback to dating a drama major who was also a method actor. “I really need to pay him back for knocking me out and breaking my… Hey, where’s my bike?”

“I had Chad pick the bike up and have the brake light fixed,” Jared replied while wrapping his arms around Jensen, slowly at first as if still wary but once he felt Jensen’s own arms tighten he knew they were okay and held on tighter. “He was a new bouncer at the bar that was just hired and was looking to earn some extra cash. I… didn’t tell him to hurt you, Jen. I didn’t want him to…”

Jensen placed a finger on his lips to still them. “I know you didn’t, babe. I know. I’m not saying you’re off the hook for that crap, and I will probably pay you back in spades one day but…” He paused to kiss Jared again, slipping the golden medallion into his boyfriend’s hand and felt Jared start as if surprised. “I gave this to you.”

“Yeah, but… considering our last fight and… what I just did… I wasn’t sure if you’d want me to still have it so I left it with you until you can…” Jared was saying even as the chain was dropping back around his neck so the Texas shaped medal rested back against his chest with Jensen’s hand covering it.

“Our last fight, our last _few_ fights, were my fault because I refused to listen to you. I refused to listen to my own heart, my conscious,” Jensen said and felt Jared’s hand cover the one he’d placed over the medal. “I don’t like to quit, you know that. So admitting that I was basically defending assholes like I spent my entire childhood trying to get away from… was hard. I…” He stopped to step back, needing space suddenly and sensing Jared’s concern.

“When we go back to the city… the choices that I’ll have to make won’t be popular, Jay,” he warned seriously. “The things you pointed out, those are just a few of the threats that might come to play if I go in and hand in my resignation. I… I might have to make some decisions that could land me before the bar and could make me lose my right to practice law. But to do what I have to do to clear my conscience and to protect you, then I’ll take those risks.”

“Whatever you decide you have to do, I will face it with you.” Jared hadn’t really considered the long term effects of Jensen quitting. But considering what he knew about those cases and about those clients he had defended, hell even those he’d refused to defend, it could get ugly. “We can leave the city if we have to. We can go anywhere you need to or want to…”

Jensen smiled softly, loving this generous young man so much. “You’re a cop, Jared,” he reminded him.

“I can be a cop anywhere, Jensen,” Jared pointed out, showing that he could be stubborn as well. “Right now, we’ll use that I’m a cop to your advantage and hope those dicks know that screwing with you or causing you any trouble when you quit might be bringing more heat on them.

“JD got pissed off when he was told to lose that report, so I already know he’s willing to take some heat to weed out the filth in the department and the Mayor’s office. So you do whatever you have to do, or whoever you have to talk to, we’ll get it all fixed,” he said, stepping up to wrap his arms around Jensen from behind and feeling a slight tremor that worried him. “I just want you to be safe and happy again. You’re not happy now, Jen. Is it the job, the stress, or is it…”

“Don’t you finish that because if what comes out next is what I think it might be, I will get pissed off at you all over again.” Jensen turned in Jared’s arms to let his own slip around Jared’s neck, seeing and hating the look of worry in his boyfriend’s bright hazel eyes. “You are the only thing in my life that makes me happy, Jared,” he said while slowly drawing Jared’s head down so that their foreheads touched.

“You, the way you laugh, the way you smile, and the way you can still see the good in things when I want to see the negative is what keeps me from falling into an abyss that I thought I had gotten away from years ago,” Jensen told him while lightly brushing his lips over Jared’s teasingly.

“I might not like the way you went about getting through to me but I know that for you to do all of that, including taking on a role that I know you hated, that it needed to happen. And for that… you just might get sex with me again before we head back to town.” He smiled against Jared’s lips before letting the kiss heat, only pulling back when he heard a low moan and offered a slow smirk. “But, you’re going to need to be really nice to me tonight and tomorrow for that to happen.”

Jared groaned but knew he had it coming; he’d need to go to Plan B, the one he’d made incase Jensen was too pissed off and he had to suck up big time.

“Besides bringing the stuff to make Momma’s pot roast, I also brought stuff to make her red sauce, your favorite vintage of wine, and a couple movies that you enjoy,” he began and knew when Jensen kissed him again before tugging him out the door and back toward the cabin that he had a good shot at sex before the weekend was over.

** 18 months later, El Paso, Texas: **

“Do you regret it?”

Looking up to where Jared stood in the door of their bedroom in their new home, Jensen Ackles didn’t have to ask what his boyfriend meant. He knew because it was something Jared had been asking for months.

The Monday after returning from the mountains and a weekend of both hot sex and more soul searching, Jensen put on his best suit and after speaking with his own attorney, contacted both the California Bar Association, the Attorney General’s office. And then he spoke with Jared’s superior before going in and turning in his resignation.

The scene with the two senior partners was just as ugly as Jensen had predicted but he’d kept his cool, maintained that icy cold composure that had served him so well in court these past years. Or he had until one of the senior partners lost his cool and made a grave mistake.

“If you try to walk out of this office, out of your contract, or you go to anyone about anything you heard while working here, you will regret it, Ackles!” he shouted while Jensen had been turning to leave. “You’ll regret it in so many ways! You’re nothing! No one would miss you if you suddenly vanished! Or maybe that cop you’re dating might meet the wrong end of a knife one day…”

Jensen had just been congratulating himself on not snapping like he’d wanted to a few times and had been opening the door to leave when the hairs on the back of his neck rose, as if warning him that it was time to go, when those shouted words reached his ears and he stopped dead.

“Threaten me? I don’t care. Threaten my career? I’ve kissed it goodbye. Threaten Jared? I will see both of you along with every crooked lawyer and politician in your pockets burn in hell.” Jensen’s tone had dropped to pure, cold ice with no trace of the Texan accent he still had at times as he looked back over his shoulder to see the older of the two trying to shut his partner up. “I will clear my conscious by doing whatever I have to but if you send one more thug after Jared? If he ever comes home to me with a damn mark that I know didn’t come from his job? _You_ will regret it.”

Jensen walked out with that promise and never looked back.

There were times in the months that followed that he wondered if he shouldn’t make Jared leave _him_ considering the hassles that came by his decisions. Because he agreed to work with the State Attorney General’s office and from the internal investigation the Bar Association instigated, Jensen had managed to avoid any serious charges that could’ve been handed down to him once it came out just who his office had been working for and what they’d been covering up.

He faced disbarment, which he’d known might happen, and was willing to accept that but when Jared started having issues at work, when he was jumped late one night by dirty cops on the payroll of Jensen’s former bosses, it became plain to Jensen that the only way to make a clean break was to not only leave California but also reveal what evidence he’d held back for just such a case.

By the time everything was said and done, several lawyers that Jensen had worked with had been disbarred, a few actually had been sentenced to jail, and the two head lawyers had faced the stiffest penalties in fines and prison terms.

The dirty cops and the assistant to the Mayor had also been removed from their positions and offered either plea deals or jail time. The whole thing hadn’t made Jensen a popular man but on the day he walked from the courthouse for the final time, he’d felt emotionally clean for the first time in a long time. He hadn’t been disbarred entirely but he also hadn’t escaped unscathed, which is what he knew Jared was now concerned about.

The move to El Paso hadn’t been an easy one for Jensen to make. He’d tried to escape any ties to the state of Texas and to his roots since he left years earlier, but a phone call from the grizzled old lawyer who’d helped him all those years ago had got him to thinking. Then one night he broached the topic with Jared after they’d finished making love.

“If I asked you to move to El Paso with me, would you consider it?” He’d asked the question softly while lightly grazing his teeth over Jared’s collarbone, waiting as his boyfriend’s brain kicked back online after climaxing. “You said you could be a cop anywhere and…”

“Ummm, could we maybe wait until I’m conscious fully and alert before talking life changing decisions?” Jared shifted from where he’d been flopped on his stomach over to his back, arms automatically going up and around as Jensen stretched out on top of him so they could share slow, deep kisses. “I thought you said you’d never go back to Texas unless Hell froze over. Did something happen during the time my brain was blown?” he asked but gave a wide, dimpled smile to show his clearly worried lover that he was open to the plan.

“Beaver called this morning. I guess he heard about what had been happening here, what I did or caused, and said he might have a solution to my little issue,” Jensen replied as he debated on if asking Jared to make this huge change was the right thing.

Jared snorted and gave the same disgusted eye roll that he did whenever Jensen used that term. “I don’t think being barred from practicing law for 10 years is ‘a little issue’, Jen.” He blinked as Jensen’s fingers brushed his hair back out of his eyes so they could see one another, then turned his cheek into the palm that rested on his face. “I think considering all the evidence and crap that you gave them, as well as the risk you took by naming names and all that, they could’ve cut you some slack or… mmhm...”

“They did. I could’ve lost my license all together and I could be spending six months to a year behind bars, so I’m not pushing that.” Jensen had cut off his boyfriend by kissing him until he felt the crease of irritation on Jared’s forehead smooth out. “Now do you want to hear the rest of what Beaver said or should we discuss something else?”

“No, I want to hear it. No, I’m not leaving you so don’t think I am and yes, I will move to El Paso with you even if I have to flip burgers.” Jared tightened his arms to keep Jensen where he was as he rolled to his side, their legs tangled. “When do we move?”

That was how Jensen found himself now glancing back at Jared to see the same worry there as he did every now and then since they moved and got settled into not only a new city but new jobs.

“Do I regret losing my way and letting myself get pulled down to a level that I never should’ve let happen? Yes.” He turned from the dresser where he’d been finishing putting on his watch and the gold band that he hadn’t taken off in three months except to shower or spar with the kids at the youth center. “Do I regret the changes I made to get to where we are now? No, because while I might not be able to practice criminal law for 10 years, I can still work in the advocate’s office for children here. And I can work in the county to hopefully help kids like I was when Jim saved me, get them out before it’s too late so they don’t wind up in situations like I did.”

 

Jensen stepped over to fix the collar of Jared’s shirt, push his hair back out of his eyes, and readjust the gold star on his shirt that showed his status in the local Sheriff’s department. “Do I regret marrying the man I love? The man who risked so much by literally kidnapping me to make me see the danger I was placing us both in? Do I regret wearing your ring like you wear mine?” He smiled as he brought Jared’s head down closer so he could kiss him deeply. “Hell, no, I don’t regret anything, Jay.

“If nothing else, you taught me that letting go of my pride, my ego and my need to always be in control is what I needed to do. I’m happy, babe. Are you?” he asked even though he knew the answer before he was given Jared’s full dimpled smile.

“I’m with you so of course I’m happy, Jensen.” Jared knew he’d be late for work and considering the strings his old Captain had pulled with friends to get him on with the Sheriff’s office here, he didn’t want that. With a sigh he stepped back. “Pick you up at the office or the center later?”

Jensen had lost his ability to practice criminal law but he hadn’t been fully disbarred and by working with both the authorities and the bar, he’d kept the ability to at least offer legal advice in family court or to the local child advocate’s office.

He actually enjoyed the experience since he did want to help kids in the same circumstances he’d once been find a way out or to keep them from going back to negative family situations like he’d been in. Though what Jensen really enjoyed the most was the time he spent at the local Youth Center in El Paso in the afternoons, just helping with homework, playing games with the smaller kids, shooting basketball or sparring in the tiny gym with the teenagers who thought they were tough… until Jensen had easily shown them that he still remembered that attitude as well.

“Pick me up at the center when you’re off work and we can go out to dinner tonight,” he said, reaching for the backpack he carried when going to either place since when possible he liked riding the motorcycle that had traveled with them from Sacramento. The bike would fit in the back of Jared’s pick-up so he didn’t have to leave it if they went out to dinner after Jared’s shift was over.

“I love you, Deputy Padalecki,” Jensen knew that always made Jared smile and wasn’t disappointed when he watched bright hazel eyes shine with deep blue flecks as Jared was getting into his pick-up. “Be safe?”

“Always. Be good?” Jared answered back since Jensen had a fondness for annoying the ladies at the youth center by letting some of the kids eat junk food when healthy snacks were stressed.

“When I can be. But if they try to serve broccoli, I can’t make promises.” Jensen smirked and then laughed as Jared drove off and he started the bike, letting it idle under him just to feel the same calmness come over him that it always did when he rode it.

It seemed odd to be back in Texas but Jensen guessed he had come full circle. This time, he was back in the state of his birth with a plan for his future, a job he enjoyed, and with the love of a man that he owed everything to. He would make sure to pass that one to the kids he worked with so that hopefully his errors wouldn’t ever leave them learning the lesson of letting go if they didn’t have to.

**The End**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, in case anyone might not agree with Jensen's reasons of accepting or forgiving Jared, in Jensen's mind he knew that he wouldn't have listened to Jared and that he was on a path that could very well have ended with him or Jared in a situation like this.


End file.
